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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Josh has two, Karen has two, and Maz has three.

KAREN CHEE: Woah. Can Josh and I team up to take over Maz?

KURTIS: Oh, good idea.

JOSH GONDELMAN: Yeah. And can we start with four?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Since Josh and Karen are tied, I will arbitrarily choose Josh to go first. Josh, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Biden announced a plan to tour the country to promote the newly passed blank plan.

GONDELMAN: Corona recovery stimulus?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the attorney general of Texas threatened to sue Austin if that city did not lift its blank mandate.

GONDELMAN: Mask?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the governor of Arkansas signed a near-total ban on blank.

GONDELMAN: Abortion?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the IOC announced that it was barring foreign spectators from attending the Olympics in blank.

GONDELMAN: Japan.

SAGAL: Yeah, Tokyo.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To celebrate the triumph of the COVID vaccine, a confectioner in Hungary has created blank.

GONDELMAN: COVID-shaped cookies?

SAGAL: No, chocolate Easter bunnies holding chocolate hypodermic needles. According to a new report, new blank claims rose less than expected.

GONDELMAN: Unemployment?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, workers at a blank warehouse in Alabama opened a vote on whether to unionize.

GONDELMAN: Amazon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a video that went viral this week...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Two pigeons in a New York subway were caught blanking.

GONDELMAN: They were mating, but it looked like they were pushing - they're competing for a mate, but it looked like they were pushing them onto the subway tracks.

SAGAL: No, Josh. They were pushing him onto the subway tracks.

KURTIS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Don't give me that alibi. I don't care what those pigeon mob lawyers told you.

GONDELMAN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: But I'm actually - so you, Josh, have heard that what they've said now is, no, they weren't trying to kill that third bird. It was merely a mating - what would you say? - like, a fight over mating that just happened in the wrong place?

GONDELMAN: Yeah. But that's - I feel like that's worse.

CHEE: This is like dating as a woman if you're trying to date straight men.

GONDELMAN: (Laughter).

CHEE: Like, there are two - there are - you have options, but one of them may murder you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Josh do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He's hot tonight. Josh had seven right for 14 more points. He now has 16 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: That was well done. All right, Karen, you are up next. Fill in the blank, Karen. On Tuesday, a sixth woman accused New York Governor blank of inappropriate conduct. New York Governor blank, yes.

CHEE: Oh, Andrew Cuomo.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CHEE: I was about like, yes, that's true.

SAGAL: On Monday, Missouri Senator blank became the latest Republican to announce that they would not run for reelection in 2022.

CHEE: Roy Blank or Roy...

SAGAL: Oh. I'll give it to you. You're so close. It's Roy Blunt.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CHEE: Blunt, OK.

SAGAL: Not our Roy Blount. This week, the White House ordered 100 million more doses of the Johnson & Johnson blank.

CHEE: Vaccine.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, SpaceX launched another 60 blanks into orbit.

CHEE: Satellites?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Florida was arrested this week after pulling out blank when police asked him for his ID.

CHEE: Oh, no. His [expletive].

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

CHEE: OK. Sorry.

SAGAL: Although that's funny because that was another Florida man in the news. And we decided not to use that one...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...For fear of offending our new young friend, Karen. We didn't want to give her the wrong idea about what kind of show this was. We'll just go for the guy who pulled out his bag of, quote, "dank gummies." On Thursday, officials in Russia and China announced joint plans to build a research station on the blank.

CHEE: The moon. The moon.

SAGAL: The moon. The moon.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, it was announced that former first lady blank would be inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame.

CHEE: Michelle Obama?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a zoo in China faced backlash...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After visitors noticed that the wolf in their enclosure was blank.

CHEE: Dead.

SAGAL: No, it was actually a dog.

CHEE: Oh.

SAGAL: Now, there are a lot of dogs you could pass off as wolves - huskies, malamutes. There is a breed that is literally called wolfdog. But for some reason, the zoo in China decided to use a Rottweiler.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now after getting caught, the zoo quickly explained the dog was only a temporary replacement. The wolf had died. And they directed angry visitors to the zoo's world famous pigeon exhibit - I mean, penguin exhibit, penguin exhibit.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Karen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, as a rookie, she's doing terrific. Karen had six right for 12 more points, total of 14. But Josh still has the lead with 16.

SAGAL: How many then does Maz need to win this thing?

KURTIS: Seven to win.

SAGAL: All right, Maz.

MAZ JOBRANI: I don't know about this, but I'll give it a shot.

SAGAL: Here we go. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the RNC rejected a cease-and-desist order from blank, demanding they stop using his image in their fundraising.

JOBRANI: Trump.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Senate confirmed blank as our new attorney general.

JOBRANI: Merrick Garland.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Brazil overtook the U.S. as the nation with the most blank cases.

JOBRANI: Coronavirus.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a judge ruled that the so-called QAnon shaman involved in the attack on the blank must remain in jail until his trial.

JOBRANI: Oh, on the Capitol.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a judge reinstated an additional third-degree murder charge for Derek Chauvin, the officer accused of killing blank.

JOBRANI: George Floyd.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, lawmakers in Mexico approved a bill to legalize blank.

JOBRANI: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police in Washington state...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Recovered a 400-pound slide that had been stolen from a playground by a man who had taken it and then blanked.

JOBRANI: He set up a water park.

SAGAL: No, he attached it to his kid's bunk bed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The giant playground slide was missing for over two months before an anonymous tip led them to the man's home, where they found it attached to his son's bunk bed. The man was arrested. But as they drove him away, you could hear from the back of the cop car, whee (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

GONDELMAN: Do you know who I am?

JOBRANI: I knew that was coming.

GONDELMAN: I'm the national darts champion.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Maz do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He did very well - six right for 12 more points, total of 15. That means with 16, Josh is the week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Wow. Amazing. Josh, you did great.

GONDELMAN: Thank you. I feel good. Just an honor, again, to play with Maz and Karen.

SAGAL: Aww.

KURTIS: That was sweet.

CHEE: That was so nice. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.