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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And for more WAIT WAIT in your week, follow us on Twitter at @waitwait and on Instagram at @waitwaitnpr. It's the Wild West of WAIT WAIT, where our intern Emma (ph) rules. Pop off, Emma.

I just say what she tells me to say. I don't...

MAEVE HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Know what it means.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

PAUL GORDON: Hi, Peter.

SAGAL: Hey, who's this?

GORDON: This is Paul Gordon (ph) from Dearborn via Ypsilanti via South Lyon in Michigan. How you doing?

SAGAL: Hey, Paul Gordon. And what do you do there?

GORDON: Ah, well, Peter, I grow beautiful, multicolored and delicious mushrooms at Detroit Mushroom Company.

SAGAL: Oh, wow. So what does a mushroom farm look like?

GORDON: We have about, I think, it's nine now shipping containers that we have converted into either a mix room or a grow room or inoculation room or whatever we need them to be. And we're on 80 acres in beautiful countryside.

SAGAL: So you are - you have shipping containers sitting on the countryside. And that's where you grow your mushrooms. You grow them inside the shipping container.

GORDON: You know, when you say it like that, Peter...

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: I thought they were all hand-picked in an apple orchard.

SAGAL: Yes. Well, welcome to the show, Paul.

Bill Kurtis is going to perform for you now three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

GORDON: I am so excited.

SAGAL: All right.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: The hard seltzer consumer is fickle, so their taste buds we're trying to tickle. Our seltzer will shine with a splash of fine brine. We have added the taste of dill...

GORDON: Pickle.

SAGAL: Yes...

KURTIS: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...Dill pickle.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: If you've ever eaten a pickle and thought, this is good, but what if it was entirely liquid? Then I am very sorry for the lonely life you've led.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But that ends today because the drink company BruMate has introduced a pickle-flavored seltzer. It's called Afternoon Dillight. Get it? And it was actually teased as an April Fools' joke, but everybody wanted it so badly they ended up putting it into production.

HIGGINS: I don't get it. You know, when you said, get it?

SAGAL: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: I didn't get it.

NEGIN FARSAD: Afternoon Dillight.

BODETT: Dillight is a pickle.

SAGAL: Oh, Afternoon Dillight is what I think I said.

HIGGINS: Oh.

GORDON: Get it? Afternoon Delight.

HIGGINS: Oh, I get it then. In answer to your question, I get it.

SAGAL: Yeah, all right. I'm glad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here, Paul, is your next limerick.

KURTIS: To grow ancient can be quite a pain. What's my secret? I'll gladly explain. Though the concept may sicken, it's the head of a chicken. Once a week you should eat a small...

GORDON: Ugh, brain.

SAGAL: Yes, brain.

KURTIS: Brain...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Or as we like to say, brain.

KURTIS: ...Oh, you are so good.

SAGAL: A-hundred-and-eleven-year-old Australian Dexter Kruger says the secret to his long life is eating chicken brains once a week.

HIGGINS: Ugh, God.

SAGAL: I mean, it kind of makes sense. That's why chickens run around when you cut their heads off. They're looking for their brains 'cause they're so good for them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kruger says that chicken brains are, quote, "delicious little things - there's only one little bite." And if you think about it, one little bite made of utterly disgusting chicken parts is basically just an honest McNugget.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: It's the thinking man's McNugget.

BODETT: We've probably all eaten some.

SAGAL: Yeah. All right. Here's your last limerick, Paul.

KURTIS: Marie Kondo might shudder and sputter. Having more puts my heart all aflutter. A big, open space puts no smile on my face. I find joy in a room full of...

GORDON: Clutter.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Clutter it is.

SAGAL: Very good, Paul.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Apparently, the hot new trend is living in squalor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Designers call it cluttercore...

FARSAD: Oh.

SAGAL: ...Which is better than the first name they came up with it, completely-given-up-core. This philosophy...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Behind cluttercore is about surrounding yourself with all the things that make you you. For example, I've been practicing cluttercore by surrounding my bed with dirty laundry. It represents my deepest inner self. That is a lazy slob.

FARSAD: (Laughter).

BODETT: I think it's - they're going to find out the cluttercore people are related to Marie Kondo somehow and that this is, like - all that stuff that we all gave away and took to the Goodwill, Marie Kondo's been quietly buying it up - right?..

FARSAD: (Laughter).

BODETT: ...And storing it and now selling it back to us so we can build our little cluttercore.

SAGAL: Wow.

FARSAD: This sounds like...

SAGAL: It's a racket.

FARSAD: ...QAnon.

BODETT: It is.

SAGAL: It's a racket.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paul do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Paul the mushroom king walked away with a win.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

KURTIS: Congratulations.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Paul. That was really deftly done.

GORDON: Thank you so much. Peace and love to you all.

SAGAL: Thanks so much for playing, Paul.

HIGGINS: Bye.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.