© 2024 Boise State Public Radio
NPR in Idaho
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations
Apple's latest iOS (17.4) is preventing our livestreams from playing. We suggest you download the free Boise State Public Radio app & stream us there while we work to troubleshoot the issue.

Gay Syrian Refugee Finds A Home In Idaho

Jodie Martinson
/
Boise State Public Radio
Shadi Ismail, Syria, Refugee Shadi Ismail lives in this Boise home with his adopted American family.

The US Department of State pledged to lead the world in accepting refugees from Syria at a meeting in Geneva this month. The organization says it is currently reviewing about 9,000 UNHCR referrals from Syria and is receiving approximately a thousand new referrals each month. A Boise refugee support organization anticipates many of those people will come to Idaho. 

But one Syrian man has already arrived as a refugee and believes he's uniquely positioned to help the incoming population of people from his home country -- even though the reason he left Syria is different from why many people are leaving now. 

Shadi Ismail fled the region about two-and-a-half-years ago because he feared his family would kill him for being gay. He says he always knew he liked boys.

"I see a friend take shirt off or something," he explains. "It's like 'Oof!'"

Ismail says being gay was unacceptable in Syria, especially in his family. 

"I am from the same area from Bashar al-Assad. We live across the street from each other. So yes, that was a big part too to [my family] not accepting."

Ismail's father caught him with boys twice when he was a teenager. To punish him, his father took a burning coal from the hookah and pressed it against Ismail's arm. 

"In my mind, I was thinking I deserve it because I did something wrong," Ismail said. "It was awful."

Ismail worried his family wouldn't stop there and he knew he couldn't change. So he fled to Damascus where his mother lived. She and his father had divorced years earlier, and as far as Ismail knew, they had no communication.

But then, one day, Ismail's mother encouraged him to stay home from work. Ismail realized she had laid a trap for him. 

"I was smoking in [the] window, and I saw people from my area, like my cousin, and I imagined 'Oh my God, they know and they [have] come to take me."

For the following years, Ismail was forced to sink deeper into the shadows. He moved multiple times. His close friend, Sam, was attacked by his brother when Sam refused to reveal Ismail's location. When Ismail's home was burglarized, he felt he could not report the incident to the police for fear they'd require he give his real name. 

Ismail was attacked by three men who taunted him for being gay. It was the final straw. Ismail's boss, a closeted gay man himself, encouraged him to present himself to a refugee organization and request assistance leaving the region. 

"I went there and they saw my face," he explained. "So then [they] got serious with me because they feel I'm not safe."

After many months of waiting, Ismail was accepted as a refugee and sent on his way to Boise, Idaho. It was a lonely first night. But he had a warm welcome on his first day out in the city. He ventured out on a bike following a bus toward downtown. Then he realized he was lost. 

"I saw a lady, I told her 'Hi!' and [gave her a] big smile," he said. "She took me [by] my hand, hand-by-hand. She said, 'See this door? Go, good luck."

Ismail remembers thinking: "I love this place." 

Almost immediately, he began to thrive in Idaho. Ismail says he found a job after 15 days, got a second one after a month. Soon he was living on his own with any support.

"I felt like it should be like that," he said. "I'm a busy guy. I love to be busy."

Now, he feels he has an adopted family -- his roommates. 

"If my roommate, if I don't see her, I miss her," he said. "This [is what] I feel is my family now. Not there [in Syria]."

But Ismail decided to take the high road with his family. He contacted his father out of the blue one day by phone.

"I did not think about it. I [just wanted] to call him. And [it] was a very good conversation."

They did not talk about the past and they did not talk about why his father punished him the way he had for his sexuality.  

Life had really changed in Syria, even for Ismail's wealthy family. Ismail decided to begin sending them some of his hard-earned money. He also assessed the political situation in Syria, and made a promise to his father he'd never come back. It's hard to see footage of Syria in the news

"Sometimes I cry for it. I watch it. I can't take it."

The Syrians coming to Idaho as refugees escaping the war will have very different reasons to flee than Ismail. But Ismail is the only Syrian refugee he knows of in the Boise area. So he feels a duty to help newcomers fit into their fresh American lives. He plans to explain to them how life works, and he knows what he'll tell them about how they should treat lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans people. 

"You have to accept me [in] America," he said. "I left everything to be who I am. If you want to still have your mind crazy [about sexual intolerance], go back to your country. Do your thing there."

Ismail says he wants a husband, a dog, and a house in Idaho. He's trying to build a normal life. That's one thing he'll likely have in common with many of the other refugees who arrive from his homeland. 

Copyright 2014 Boise State Public Radio

You make stories like this possible.

The biggest portion of Boise State Public Radio's funding comes from readers like you who value fact-based journalism and trustworthy information.

Your donation today helps make our local reporting free for our entire community.